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When my xxx beers come I'll drink them very quickly, probably averaging x - x minutes per beer. After consumption is complete I'll be pretty drunk and will be easier to converse with. This should happen at about the time our appetizer arrives in which case we can resume small talk. IMPORTANT: If, say, we order buffalo wings for our appetizer and we receive a plate with an odd number of wings, we will leave the spare wing on the plate. No xxx shall consume it. The reason is that if I offer it to you and you take it, I'll secretly be really pissed at you. And if you offer it to me and I take it, I'll be a nervous wreck because I'll speculate that you're secretly pissed at me. So let this paragraph hereby be the official protocol to follow in the event that an odd number of food items appear on our appetizer plate. Next, we will consume our entrees. I may ask you if you're enjoying your dinner. Please give a positive response or I'll become uncomfortable. 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